9 January | Youth

The Difference Between Loving and Liking

«Rachel was beautiful and well favoured. And Jacob loved Rachel.» Genesis 29:17-18

Loving is different from liking. Liking has to do with affinity. Love, with altruism. Liking requires exchanges and reciprocity. Love implies selfless surrender and self-sacrifice. Liking is normally an attitude inclined towards pleasure and satisfaction. Love is putting the well-being of others above self-gratification. Therefore, love focuses on what is lasting or eternal, while liking focuses on what is immediate and fleeting. Whether we like it or not, these two needs are within us. It’s how we deal with them that makes the difference!

In a romantic relationship or in a casual friendship, liking is as important as loving. If well combined, love and liking can, together, contribute to a life of above-average achievement and happiness. Ambitious people will try to have it both ways. Ordinary people, however, will be content with just one of them. But what can we do when we don’t achieve the “perfect balance”? And what is the Lord's advice on this? The biblical answer is simple but challenging: Live and enjoy the joys of today without forgetting the promises of tomorrow. In other words, like without stopping to love; and always love, even without liking. It is from this reasoning that the “strange need” to love our enemies arises, that is, to do and wish good even to those who are bad or mistreat us. Therefore, Jesus advised His disciples not to dislike or persecute unbelievers, despite their errors and flaws (Luke 9:51-56).

The Bible does not talk much about “Christian liking”, but it constantly presents the ideal of “Christian love.” This love is not about putting others first or above us, but about submitting our ego to the will and power of a God who loves like no one else. The heart of one who receives divine grace overflows with love for God and for those for whom Christ died. The person who loves with “Christian love” does not strive to be recognized. This person does not love others because others love and please him nor because they appreciate his merits, but because they have been bought by Christ. “[Christian] love is manifested in kindness, gentleness, forbearance and long-suffering” (Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 102). That's the difference between liking and loving. Would you like to ask the Lord today to teach you how to truly love? Not only will God love to hear this from you. He will also like it a lot!