5 September | Youth

Rogerian Argument

«Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.» Matthew 19:8

Putting yourself in someone else's shoes is not easy. It requires a lot of creativity, intelligence, willingness and empathy. The price is so high that most of us do not want to pay! However, this seems to be the essence of God. Otherwise, why would the Lord have come to Earth in human form? This was the incredible way He decided to put Himself in our place. In doing so, He paid an exceedingly high price: He was born of a woman, grew up in a poor place, was despised by many and tempted in all things, like us. Still, He was obedient until death, even death on a cross.

Now, notice that even in everyday matters, Jesus was empathetic. When talking with people, He put Himself in the other person's position in an attempt to understand things from the other person's perspective. Jesus' attitude was never egocentric or acidic, unlike that of some of those who used to question Him. This occurred, for example, in the dispute over the issue of divorce. For some of the Pharisees, the husband could, by right, abandon his wife for any fault she committed. If Jesus did this, he would be backed by the “law of Moses.”

Jesus dismantled these arguments with mastery and tact. He faced his opponents on their own ground, with the same logic and the same basis they used, but He reached a different conclusion. Note that the word “beginning” occurs twice in Jesus’ speech (v. 4, 8). This is crucial! Let me explain. It was the custom of intellectuals at the time to refute a text by citing an older one. That is why the Pharisees quote the book of Exodus. Jesus quoted Genesis.

Opponents invoke the interpretation of a Sinai law; Jesus goes back to the instructions of Eden. In this battle of the titans, Jesus finally emerges victorious! American psychologist Carl Rogers taught that it is essential to understand someone else's position well in order to be able to give a persuasive response and refute the other's argument in an empathetic and respectful way, without getting upset or creating unnecessary conflicts. This is the so-called “Rogerian Argument.” Before Rogers, however, Jesus had already taught us this by His own example.

When you get into an argument or debate, remember the example that Christ set. Listen to properly understand the other person's position, and when responding, do so with tact, Christianity and respect.