The original equality between man and woman was effectively disrupted in human history. The Old Testament abundantly witnesses of this new reality.
The historical books of the Old Testament describe at length to what extent the family life of Adam and Eve and their descendants was marked by the stigmas of the Fall. In these narratives the profile of the wife seems, in most of the cases, quite low stereotyped, following restrictive roles. Often the wives appear as silent figures—anonymous, occupied with their domestic duties, almost as if they were just part of their husbands’ belongings. At the same time, however, some women had very active roles in the public and political arenas. The proper fulfilling of their tasks as wives and mothers in submission to their husband
Although a certain number of laws are not equalitarian, and imply the submission of wives to husbands in many aspects of life, we also observe that the respected condition of women in marriage, required by the biblical laws, is very far from the discrimination they historically suffered in the cultures around Israel. The Torah demands of children the same respect for the mother as for the father (Exod 20:12; 21:15, 17), and the advice of both is requested for the punishment of the stubborn and rebellious son (Deut 21:18–20). Many laws are formulated to protect women: when accused falsely (Deut 22:13–21), when raped (Deut 22:28, 29), in pregnancy (Exod 21:22–25), for inheritance (Num 27:1–11; 36:1–13), when widowed1 (Deut 25:5–16), etc. The importance given to women in the laws of Moses becomes evident if we consider that it is unique to the Bible, and does not have any parallel in the Ancient Near East literature.2
The contribution of the so-called “wisdom literature” to the topic of marital roles is significant because—unlike the historical books—these writings are not bound to describe reality as it was. They also present reality as it should be, and in this sense they describe the ideal to be sought, even in the relationships between man and woman, beyond the boundaries of traditions and customs.
Thus, Proverbs 31:10–31 presents a quite unusual pattern of a “liberated woman” in biblical terms. Although her activities are centered around her home, the “ideal wife” is described as an industrious business woman fairly independent, completely fulfilled in activities that are far from submissive roles. In fact, Proverbs 31:10 describes this woman with the very same qualifications (“capacity and force”) ascribed to men in Genesis 47:6. However, the non-customary way of assuming her role in marriage is openly approved of, since her children and husband praise her and God says of her that she should be praised (Prov 30).3
The most interesting presentation of “the divine ideal for husband-wife relationship in the post-Fall setting is found in the Song of Songs.”4 Whatever might be the interpretation given to this small book, one cannot overlook the importance given to mutuality in the intimate relationships between husband and wife. Procreation of children, which was a primary reason for marriage in the ancient Near East, is completely silenced in this book. It deals with other important aspects of the man-woman relationship, namely mutual love, intimacy, and sexual partnership.
This book describes and exalts “the feelings, desires, concerns, hopes and fears of two young lovers … In one sense, the song is an extended commentary on the creation story—an expansion of the first recorded love-song in history” 5 (Gen 2:23). While in the divine pronouncement of judgment in the Fall narrative God announces that the woma
The equal status of both partners in the Song is so visible that the woman often takes the initiative in her interaction with her man. In fact, “the Song is for the most part given from the woman’s perspective.”6 “Nearly twice as many verses are from her lips than from his. She is not ashamed to express her longing for love and her willingness to give freely to her beloved … There is nothing here of the aggressive male and the reluctant or victimized female. They are one in their desires because their desires are God-given.”7 It could be said that the Song of Solomon is a recall of the Edenic ideal for marital relationships.
Several hints for God’s redemptive intent for mutuality in the marriage relationship may be found in the writings of the prophets. We have selected as a sample the statement of Hosea 2:16 (NIV): “In that day, declares the LORD, you will call me ‘my husband’ [’îšî]; you will no longer call me ‘my master’ [ba‘lî].” It is interesting to observe in this sentence that God describes His relationships with His people as a husband-wife relationship.
In conclusion we may say that the Old Testament presents a kind of an egalitarian ideal for marriage that is kept alive despite the usually strong and culturally enforced headship role of husbands in marriage, and despite the inequalities brought by the Fall and centuries of social development of marital patterns.
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1 Cf L. Aynard, La Bible au feminin, Lectio Divine 138 (Paris: Cerf, 1990), 42–47. See Arthur Ide, 44–45; Victor Matthews, “Female Voices: Upholding the Honor of the Household,” Biblical Theology Bulletin 24 (1994), 8–15.
2 Roland de Vaux, Ancient Israel: Its Life and Institutions (Toronto: McGraw-Hill, 1961), 40, affirms that “the Israelite wife was loved and listened to by her husband and treated by him as an equal.”
3 See Kenneth O. Gangel, “Towards a Biblical Theology of Marriage and Family” part 2, Journal of Psychology and Theology 5/2 (1977): 154–155.
4 Davidson, 271.
5 G. Lloyd Carr, The Song of Songs, Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries (Leicester: InterVarsity, 1984), 34.
6 Duane A. Garrett, Song of Songs, The New A merican Commentary, vol. 14 (Nashville, TN: Broadman, 1993), 432.
7 Lloyd Carr, 54.